Unfortunately, I write this post with a heavy heart and a lot of sadness.
My big plan for this post was to unveil to everyone the big news that I am officially a licensed Pennsylvania driver, but sadly this is not the case.
I let my nerves and doubt get the best of me and I hit the curb during the parallel parking portion of the test :(
The frustrating thing is I have driven 35 minutes each way to the DMV EVERY NIGHT for the past 3 nights just to practice my parking!! Last night I didn't mess up a single try and I left feeling super confident!
However, as hard as I tried to stay positive and confident, I psyched myself out and completely bombed.
Like, if you were standing there watching me try to park this car, you would've been cracking up because I'm not even entirely sure I even made it into the spot at all :P
It probably looked something like this
And the poor DMV guy was just sitting there and he tried to be really nice and sweet about it, but when you put your car in reverse and it won't move because you're up against the curb that much, your hopes of passing have all pretty much died....
I know in the greater scheme of things that millions of teens need multiple attempts at the road test to get their license, and it's really not a big deal, like, AT ALL, but it still sucks major donkey balls :(
Personally, this is the first time I've ever failed at anything, and the more I think about that the more I just keep replaying all 30 seconds of my test in my mind, and then I just want to crawl into a dark corner with a tub of ice cream and cry.
But by doing that, I would be admitting defeat, and then I would never pass my test! The only way to fix this is by getting back into my car, practicing some more, and re-taking my test (which sadly takes a billion years to reschedule)
In a way, I guess there's a positive to failing: I mean I was bound to fail at something one time or another in my life (my parents reassure this will only be the first time of many, so thanks guys) and accepting failure is a majorrrrrrr issue I have to work on dealing with because I have a horrible habit of holding myself to incredibly and unrealistically high standards. When I set a personal goal, I want nothing more than to achieve it and be able to cross it off of my list, and I guess I just need to accept that this particular goal will take a little bit longer to achieve.
At the end of the day, this one tiny blip of disappointment on the radar screen of my life won't change my character, take away my AFS scholarship, or prevent me from getting into college, and although it sucks right now, it honestly doesn't matter at all!
Sorry this wasn't really related to my trip at all, but I haven't blogged in a while and I figured I should just give an update, plus there is something kind of therapeutic about pouring your heart out to a bunch of strangers hehe :P I leave for vacation (I have never needed one so badly) on 7/20 and get back on 7/27 so unless something Earth shattering happens between now and Saturday morning you probably won't be hearing from me until after I get back.
I wish luck to anyone who is taking their drivers exam soon and I'll talk to you guys later :)
Arrivederci!
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