The tip of the iceberg

Instead of the pictures uploading to the bottom like usual, today the wanted to go to the very top... So we get to start out with them, yay!! Here we can see an example of how weird Italian school is - they won't let girls wear shorts, but if you're bored you can graffiti all over the desks like the girl behind me did here....

Duomo di San Gennaro - the patron saint of Napoli and of Trecase (my town) this church was built like 700 ish years ago in his honor and last week was his Holy Week!! Got to tour the church and see his relics - amazing!!

Too many stray dogs here... Not sure if I've talked about this yet but I WANT TO TAKE THEM ALL HOME WITH ME!!! :((((

Ciao a ragazzi :) 

Maybe it's because I'm currently watching Titanic - which is one of my all time favorite movies - or maybe it's because my host mom made smiley fries for lunch today... But I'm in a particularly good mood right now! 

UPDATE 

I apologize for worrying anyone with my last post. I was in a really bad place and it took me until Tuesday morning to snap out of my funk, so to speak. It was a combination of frustration at the language barrier, the cultural differences, and a hearty dose of homesickness all piled on top of the fact that I hadn't run in over 2 weeks! 

Monday afternoon tensions finally boiled over when my host family confronted me about why I was being so withdrawn all of a sudden... Immidiately I burst into tears and gave them the "it's not you it's me" speech via google translate - easily the most awkward hour of my life. Monday night I met with my liaison, Yole, who was awesome and really put some things into perspective for me. She was actually an exchange student in Pittsburgh for a year so not only does she speak English, but she knows the keystone state as well :) 

While I'm still struggling with a lot of issues here... The depression part has gone away and my life is starting to have some sort of routine, which is helping. 

After talking to Yole, my host parents, my American parents, and some other AFSers.... I decided to give it 3 more weeks here, until the 14th, to really think about why I'm doing this and if this truly is the right path for me. I want to make it clear that I'm not leaving on the 14th - I'm merely using that as a deadline for me to make a decision about what I want to do - let's hope that goes well! 

I'm taking it day by day here... This whole experience has been completely opposite of what I expected! It has pushed me to limits I didn't even know existed! 

That being said, I know right now I can't even really tell the true difference... But sometimes I think back to how I was in June when I first started this blog, and it's like I am 2 different people!! 

Hands down, the best part about this exchange has been the food. Whatever you've heard about eating real Italian food in Italy, it's ALL TRUE! Literally everything tastes better over here, bananas, toast, even the water is just better. 

Italian have what I call the 4 basic seasoning groups : olive oil, salt, lemon, and Nutella. 

If you eat anything over here - I can put money on it there will be at least one of the above in your dish somehow... Although I wouldn't reccomend trying to use all 4 in the same one ;P 

My parents sent a care package from America that should be arriving in the next few days and it contains *drumroll* PEANUT BUTTER!! One thing you really can't find in Italy is peanut butter, and sweet mother of God how I have missed it! 

My host siblings claim to hate the stuff but I said it's impossible to hate the over processed, sweetened American stuff ;) Everyone here is excited to try some!! 

School has been taking up most of my time... But since I don't understand a lot of my subjects such as Latin and Greek, I usually end up going with my tutor/ the English teacher, Prof Pinto, who basically has made me her teaching assistant. While it's really cool to impress everyone with my fluent English, I'm really not learning any new Italian :p I talked to Yole about it and we're in the process of getting my schedule changed so I have more math and science. 

I never in a million years expected I'd say this, but.... MATH IS MY FAVORITE SUBJECT!! 

Since numbers are pretty universal, I understand at least 80% of the lesson! It really helps that they're learning basic graphing and formulas (y=mx+b Anyone?) that I've known/ studied since 7th grade... So it's basically a refresher for me. PLOT TWIST: I'm the one offering to help the Italians understand the lessons better - not the other way around! 

Chemistry is a totally different story, as is every other subject but English. 

The worst part is being treated like an idiot and or 5 year old. I am an intelligent person!! Really! You don't understand what I'm saying, but trust me I use big words and proper grammar!! 

While I'm actually starting to adjust somewhat to a few things here, I'm still really questioning whether or not I jumped into this whole process before I really thought it through completely. 

I'm trying to be as open and positive as I can and while that's really helping, I'm still not adjusting to life here at all. 

Gahhhh it sucks so much because I don't want to quit - I want to finish what I started and have the satisfaction of knowing that I survived for 10 months in a foreign county. At the same time, I want to get back on track with my schoolwork and use my junior year for SAT's and college prepping (something that I have to do my senior year and is a huge source of stress for me) I want to get back to running everyday and just be a normal teenager again. Most of all, I want to just feel like I belong again. 

I know I know I know... All with time, give it time, time is what you need!! But it's physically impossible for me to waste time - hands down my biggest pet peeve in the entire world - and Italians don't even know what a clock is :P 

Can I really wait 5, 6 more months, before I really start to reap the benefits of this exchange? Is my junior year of high school (which is also a once in a lifetime year) worth the amount of stress and pressure I'm under 24/7? Is my personal happiness and health worth compromising, all in the name of this exchange?

Those are just the tip of the iceberg (PS Titanic just sunk so that was the perfect metaphor hehe) seriously my pros and cons list is 4 pages long.... 

That's what this next 2 weeks is for - to try and make sense of the battle that is currently happening in my brain :P if anyone has any words of encouragement or advice for me, even if it's about who I should root for in the next soccer match... I will gladly and graciously accept!! I'm considering every possible detail so nothing is useless!! 

Hands down, whatever I decide, i don't want to disappoint everyone. My friends, my family, everyone is so encouraging and wanting the best for me... It's so stressful to try and make the best decision based on my interests and in the name of making everyone proud. I can't let anyone down, and I need to make the best use possible of this scholarship, but I need to do what's best for me... That's the catch :/ 

Sorry these blogs haven't been as witty or charming as the usually are... I have to blog from my phone and the caliber of my humor just isn't at the level it was back when I had my nice American desktop and keyboard :P 

Titanic just finished (I will ALWAYS cry at this movie, ALWAYS) and so I think it's time to wrap up this post too.... Everyone's support so far has been outstanding and I can't say thank you enough for reading this blog and keeping me strong :) 

I love you guys <3 

A presto!!! 

 

People help the people

Ciao ragazzi

Sorry it's been so long since my last post.... Things have been, well, you'll see in a minute. 

Before I forget, the title of this post refers to a Birdy song of the same name... Google the lyrics and you'll see why I chose to name this post that :p 

I wish I could say I'm typing this with iOS7, but alas, being in a foreign country with airplane mode on 24/7 doesn't exactly allow for an update 0_o 

Sooo do you want the good or the bad first? Usually I always choose the bad... Because I like the good afterwards to make me feel better about the bad, but for the purpose of this blog post and the fact that that is a rhetorical question....  let's start with good news first, shall we?

Last time I blogged I had only been in Italy for 5 days.... I'm now a seasoned veteran of 12 -_- So yea, guess you could call me an expert by now ;p

Anyways, the good news. I have no doubts that Italians are the warmest and kindest people on the planet... Minus Jesus and Santa Claus of course! 

So far I think I've met at least 200 people, nowadays I  can't go on Facebook without having at least 2 new friend requests a day from Annamaria Spaghetti or Luigi Pizza! (Sorry if that's prejudiced but truthfully everyone over here has a classic Italian name!) I'm always with people, and my classmates... Words can't describe how sweet my classmates are! 

I've attended 4 days of Italian school so far, which equals about 16 hours total, and of that 16 hours I understood maybe 3 (naturally those 3 hours were spent in English class) The school has seen better days and I'm basically unable to walk from the cramps in my legs by the end of the day, but everyone has been very understanding and tolerant of me, so that's good! I sit in the front row, so I find that the teachers all like to make eye contact with me during their lectures in Italian, as if by making eye contact somehow that will allow me to understand what they're saying :p 

Uhhhhhh, no. 

The language barrier sucks a big one. I know so little, and they have like 6 different forms of a word/ ways to use it - for example "bello, bella, bellissimo, and bellissima" are all ways to say beautiful. Which one goes where and why, I haven't a clue. I tend to nod my head and smile a lot, which signifies I understand them, when in reality they could be calling me an obese unicorn from Neptune and I wouldn't even bat an eyelash! It's really annoying to have to use English all the time since my Italian is so mangled, and because no one over here speaks English very well, I've been going at the speed of a drunken snail for 12 days! I laugh when they tell me to slow my English down, because to me, Italian sounds like one giant, complicated medical term. I can't tell where one sentence ends and another starts!!

I have been doing some touristy things with my friends and family here, such as going into Naples and Pompeii (although all we did was shop in Pompeii so it doesn't even count). Those excursions have been fun, but honestly all of Italy is starting to blend together for me... I didn't even know what day of the week it was until my host mom told me 20 minutes ago!

Last bit of good news is that I started Italian lessons! Twice a week I travel to the town of Scaffati, about half an hour from Trecase, to go sit in this lady's living room with 6 other AFSers and try to communicate in my horrid Italian! It's really difficult and I have a throbbing headache afterwards, but just getting to be with my other AFS friends makes it the highlight of my week :) There's me, Ming Hui from China, Daikaku and Yosuke from Japan,  Daniela from Colombia, Amelie from Germany, and Shayla from Ohio!! We are a great group - even if Daniela is way ahead of the rest of us since she speaks fluent Spanish which is super similar to Italian! My teacher is pretty awesome too! She tries to only speak to us in Italian, but last time she gave up and had to use English a bit after like 1 hour :P She speaks like 5.5 languages (only some mandarin) and she makes us snacks too, so basically she's my new favorite person.

Alright, it's that time when this blog turns into my personal diary and things get pretty sappy. 

WARNING : if you don't like complaints, whining, negativity, or melodrama, STOP READING NOW! ***********

Sooo if you've made it this far and are willing to put up with all of the above, thanks for caring about me! 

First and foremost - I. Am. Homesick. 

I was completely fine for the first 5 days! It was all smiles and rainbows, or I guess pizzas and volcanoes?, until Saturday. 

*Cue world's smallest violin and dramatic lighting* 

*Preferably you should be reading this while watching a Sarah McLachlan dog adoption commercial* 

Saturday morning, as I was sitting through Italian class (because I have freaking school on Saturday.. UGHHH) all of a sudden, a fountain sprang forth from my tear duct and the next thing I know, I'm basically chewing through my lip to try and keep from sobbing. After I gain control of myself, of course everyone is staring at me and asking if I'm okay and if I want a drink/something to eat... So that makes me cry even more :/ 

Later in the day I skyped with my family back in America and of course as soon as that finished I was a wreck the rest of the day. 

Monday at school wasn't any better... Cried again, got comforted again, cried some more again. 

I understand that homesickness is a natural part of being an exchange student and everyone experiences it.... But I really really reeeeeeeeeeeeeeally miss America. 

I didn't realize how long 10 months was until I got here, and I'm really beginning to question whether or not being an exchange is the right path for me. It's like, my physical body is here in Italy (especially my stomach) but my heart and my mind are back in America. Every day I wake up and all I can ever think about everything I'm missing back home :/ I've talked to a lot of people, both Italians and Americans, who have assured me that as long as I wholly throw myself into the Italian culture, it will go away. Well, it's been 5 days and I haven't managed to get through a single one without crying. 

I hate how ungrateful I sound - someone GAVE ME 14k to have the year of my life over here, and all I want to do is not use it and go home. Words can't explain how conflicted and horrible I feel about this... Because my parents were also so supportive and helpful throughout the pre departure process, getting my visa, physicals, they threw me a beautiful going away party, they were just the best. All of my friends and family were so understanding and loving right to the very end and are still supporting me! 

When I was in New York, before my flight I was talking with the other exchange students, and they had all been fundraising and preparing for this since last September! One girl said she had been planning this for 2 years!! I decided I wanted to do this on a whim over a long weekend.... 

I really like Italy, and my host family is wonderful, but I can't stop comparing it to America :/ In AFS, there's a saying "it's not good or bad - it's just different!" And sadly, it's those differences that are causing my homesickness. The entire point of being an exchange student is to get pushed out of your comfort zone and overcome all of the differences, but for the first time in my life, I am really questioning if I have what it takes to keep going. 

I am NOT a quitter! I have never quit anything before in my life and just the thought of leaving early makes me hate myself.

At the same time, I am exhausted. I can't run here because my host mom doesn't trust me to go on my own and no one else wants to take me. RUNNING IS MY LIFE! I am going insaneeeeeee without it and if I can't run for 10 months well then that right there is the deal breaker. I'm averaging about 4 hours of sleep a night here, partly because we only eat dinner at 10:30 and partly because I literally don't have any down time until 11 - so I'm up for another 3 hours doing homework/ conjugating verbs / talking to my friends back home who are just getting back from school in America at this time. 

I KNOW. I need to cut off contact with America for a while until I feel better, and I tried to! But since the only thing I look forward to is talking to my friends back home, I had a lot of trouble with that. 

I just feel really stuck. I can't go home, but I can't stay here... I don't know how I'm going to get through the next 10 months, I don't even know how I'm going to get through the next 10 hours! 

All I know is that something is going to have to change, and fast, because this isn't just homesickness... This is like becoming full blown depression :/ 

The last thing I want to do is disappoint anyone - I have the reputation of America (no pressure or anything) to uphold here, as well as that of my community, and my school. I don't want to make my host parents or my friends feel like it's their fault. - IT'S NOT. This is quite possibly the biggest case of "it's not you, it's me" to ever happen in the history of the world. 

So, while I do some major soul searching and wall sits ( to try and keep some muscle mass haha) please, enjoy some pictures of my travels so far :)  

And remember - to be an exchange student is an AMAZING thing! I don't want to deter anyone from that, everyone handles exchange differently, and I've figured out that I'm in that lucky group of "I don't handle it well but I'm a late bloomer with the warning signs" 

Ciao a tutti! 

Castello dell'ovo in Napoli

 

 Afternoon boat ride near Capri! 

The town of

 Torre Anunziata and Vesuvio in the background!

In Italy the "personal pizza" is literally an entire pizza just for you.... #yes

Spot all the differences!

Here is that shorter "supplement" if you will of differences I promised

1.) tampons! Although I won't elaborate too much on this, I will say that Italians really don't have them or even know what they are, much less use them :P Goody!! NOT.

2.) bidet. As my Italian friend, Fef, once said "Bidet is my life!" And although I was very hesitant to try the "ass cleaning" machine, I do have to say it isn't as traumatizing as you'd think - I'm starting to get on board the bidet train! 

3.) school supplies. Everyone here is expected to purchase their own school supplies out of pocket, including Agendas (they call them diaries which confused the hell out of me at first) pencils, pens, (which they sell individually here) and textbooks. Basically if you can buy it in bulk in America, expect th opposite here.

4.) you have "at home clothes" i.e. nice loose dress or baggy shorts, and "going out" clothes i.e. skinny jeans and a fancy shirt...: then there's me who is fighting every instinct in her body that is telling her to throw on yoga pants and a sweatshirt then call it a day on the fashion front :P 

5.) Italians will accessorize everything to the nines, including pets and cars. 

6.) obvious one, but the whole "centigrade, euro, military time" thing is still very much a foreign concept for me :p

7.) I don't have chores! My family has a lovely housekeeper named Natasha who handles the big stuff like scrubbing floors and making beds, but my host mom also does a lot of cooking and cleaning too! In America, although my parents will say I was a typical lazy teen, I had to clean the kitchen and my room, or at least I was supposed to, and right now I have this guilty conscience about not doing anything. PLEASE JUST LET ME CLEAR A TABLE! 

8.) showering. Since water is cheap and plentiful in America, I'm used to showering at least once a day. Here I try to go every 2 days, but by Italian standards that's still an excessive amount. By my standards I'm disgusting after 12 hours, but when in Rome... 

9.) Drinks! Since everything here is fresh, that means the soda and juice tastes a lot better too! I'm talking real sugar in your coke, and peach juice so thick and creamy it's basically a juice box smoothie.... I've seriously died and gone to heaven with that <3 

10.) every sport they play here, whether it be ping pong or foose ball or soccer, they take SUPER seriously. You play for keeps here! 

11.) you have to have a purse if you're a girl - not just a wristlet, like me, or else you'll get yelled at, like me :p 

12.) shorts are great anywhere but in school if you're a girl. 

13.) the wall outlets are circular and have three holes in a row, not like the square ones that look like a surprised face in America! 

14.) surprisingly it's been cooler weather here than in PA! Since I'm right on the bay we get the sea breeze and I don't think it's been above 80 at all yet!  Also it's dry heat so no humidity <33333

That's all I can think of for now... I will probably have many more as the year goes by though! Unlike some of my other friends, I have a steady Internet connection here so I plan on blogging a lot in my free time :) 

Ciao a tutti! 

Life in Italy is ______________

Ciao a tutti :) 

So I'm currently sitting at my host sister's desk studying a homemade vocab sheet of common items/ foods.... Because not understanding anything is getting pretty damn embarrassing :P

Anyways, this post is all about the crazy differences I've noticed between Italia e America!  Although I've only been here for 4 days... Life here is a complete 180 from what I knew in PA, of course it's to be expected but still... 

So, without further ado, here are some major differences that I've found either interesting or annoying 

1.) The time table. Okay so I like to consider myself a pretty punctual and also social person, however in Italy everything regarding my daily schedule has pretty much been tossed into a blender and chopped into a million pieces :p In America, on any given night of the year I'm in bed by about 11:30pm. I consider a social month to be maybe seeing my friends 4 or 5 times outside of school on the weekends - maybe we go shopping or have a sleepover (sleepovers are rare though). And unless I'm dying or just ran a marathon, I'm up and about by 10:30am almost always.....  Sooooooo not the case in Italy! 

I've been here 4 days so far and we have stayed out till at least 12 every night! It's currently 12:42am as I'm writing this, just to give you a frame of reference. And it's not just me and my host sister! My brother, my mother and father- everyone here stays up into the wee hours, I have no idea how they manage to do it EVERY FREAKING NIGHT! I compensate for it by sleeping in until 12:30 or 1pm, but my host mom and dad stay up as late as us and then also are somehow able to be awake and working by like 8 am the next morning ( I think Italians might secretly be vampires). Tonight is a school night for my host siblings and they don't care, but I can promise you I will be in bed by 10pm for my first school night (tomorrow). 

2.) Privacy! Tying back into #1, privacy is basically nonexistent here. Unless you're doing your business in a bathroom or changing your clothes, all the doors always stay open in Italy! I share a room with my sister, so I already have less privacy, but it is rather unnerving to have any given family member or acquaintance pop into your room at any hour of the day without so much as a knock :P This also might just be my family, but the lights in our house are all always on too! I love to sleep in pitch black darkness and quiet but here it's kind of like laying down on a nice, peaceful bench in the middle of Times Square during rush hour! Solo in Italia....

3.) the food. Now I know everyone assumes that if you live for 1 year in Italy you will just explode from all the food - not necessarily true!! So far I've not had a proper breakfast (because I sleep in a lot) but I do eat lunch and like a snacky type meal and dinner. The catch here is, everything is a lot healthier than in America. I eat so much better than I do there, even though I probably eat more, it's all fresh fruits and vegetables! For instance, yesterday we had polipo (octopus) with insalata, pasta a la zucca (pumpkin pasta)  and for dessert fresh frutta! I have pretty much eliminated snacks from my diet here and also I drink so much water! Since I didn't drink in America I'm pretty hesitant to try any vino or birrra... Not that my family drinks a lot because they don't! One thing I do miss is salad dressing! Here it's olive oil and lemon with salt on pretty much everything you could ever want. 

4.) dubbed tv shows.... Watching Duck Dynasty in Italian is really an experience that everyone should have at some point :p 

5.) Socialization. As I mentioned previously, everyone is always hanging out with someone else! Since I am such an American noob, I go where my host sister goes, and let me tell you... She goes! We usually wake up and hang out with classmates for a few hours (such as going to Napoli with them earlier) and them come home, change and eat dinner, then go to the Lido Ristorante .... Which is this restaurant slash gelato shop that is on the waterfront by the bay and on any given night about 100 teenagers like to congregate in front of it. It's a lot of kissing cheeks (another difference - always kiss the right first or else you'll miss and hit their lips!! Awko taco) and screaming and cigarette smoke.

6.) a lot of teens smoke here which is considered somewhat taboo in America but very acceptable here even though they understand the health risks completely! I've been offered many cigarettes but so far I've managed to resist the temptation *sarcastic eye roll* I hate smoking :P 

7.) The freedom! Even though no one can drive yet, somehow someone who can is always ready and waiting to take you it seems like! My poor host mother has to play chauffeur to us more times than I think is acceptable, but I'm not complaining :P In addition they totally trust a group of 7 16year olds to take the train by themselves and spend an afternoon in Napoli, say wuuuuuuut!? 

8.) what is healthy/safe and what isn't. Wet hair and bare feet here are a health risk, but no seat belts in a care aren't? Go figure - I have been yelled at countless times to wear scarpe (shoes) rather than flip flops, but I love my flip flops and it's either them or my  sexy asics sneakers (non mi piace) that was also sarcasm :P whatever you've heard about crazy driving in Italy - IT'S ABSOLUTELY TRUE!!! No one uses a stop sign or real parking spaces, traffic flow is as unpredictable as the ocean current, and streets are barely wide enough to fit one car - yet somehow 2 can pass each other and I have yet to see an accident.. If it ain't broke don't fix it? 

So this was a little bit about my life so far here... I plan on posting a shorter list of some other things later but I'm super tired and getting rambly now so let's just call it a night shall we? 

First ever gelato in Italy!! It was absolute heaven too, I got coffee, kinder (German chocolate) and tiramisu!! 

The crew in Napoli for the afternoon :) 

A huge piazza in Napoli! Famous but I forget the name :p 

Buona notte :) 

Switzerland what?!

Literally has an entire farmer's market within the airport.... America why you no do this??!!

Squeezing in a quick blog session as I'm waiting for my connecting flight out of the Zurich airport... In using their complimentary 60 minute wifi so gotta make it quick :p 

Something they didn't mention in orientation - how NASTY you feel after going 24 ish hours without a shower... Kind of want to go jump into the nearest river and just scrub a dub dub at the moment :p 

The flight went great though! The airplane food was so cute and tiny and I got to watch 2 movies and listen to an entire Lana Del Rey album :p So much has happened that this post has no personality and is just me listing facts but screw it - I'm eating macaroons in Switzerland betchezzzz ;) 

Flying over the lights of Paris was hands down the coolest thing I've done so far... How is it even possible that I'm here right now?!?!?!?

Even though it's 3am back in America, all of Switzerland is wide awake at 9 o clock and so far the jet lag hasn't set in yet (but I am running on like 6 hours of total sleep so that should get interesting) 

I have 3 hours to kill until my lay over so for now I'm just feeling pretty touristy and trying to comprehend the fact that I am in Europe....  

What were you doing an hour ago? Me? I was just flying over Switzerland is all

Ciao ciao <3

Super crazy 2am emotion time!!!

Woooooooooooo!!!! 

Ahajdodcksnandke

I'm sitting on my bedroom floor, it's currently 2:17... I wanna go to bed, but I gotta get that room clean :/

As you can tell, I am so beyond exhausted right now words can't even describe...

Yesterday I woke up at 6am to do useless school (as I now so fondly refer to it) and then to FINALLY run in my first and last XC race! I placed 9th out of 40ish girls too!!

 

My best fran.... Mao Ze Dong, JK inside joke her name is Maegan :p 

My udder bestay.... Squishy aka Alicia 

 By the time we got back it was 7:30 add an hour of last minute shopping and 2 hours of stargazing with meh boyf.... I didn't get home until 11pm :O

Currently, I have my suitcase packed, working on carry on and personal bag. The tricky part is divvying up what goes in where to meet what weight requirements and to ensure your access to it during Rome, basically it's a whole mess of complication :p

I always knew the day before I leave would be an emotional roller coaster, but I severely underestimated the power of said roller coaster! From laughter and annoyance, to tears and heart break... Today was just a melting pot of feels >____< 

You will NEVER meet a better group of kids than the students at Cocalico High School. They are hands down the most caring, supportive and loving people I know. You're all always in my heart and I hope that I'm always at least in the back of your minds :')

Well today is go day... The big D... DEPARTURE DAY MOTHER F ***ERS!!!

I'm not going to write this off as the best experience I will ever have in my life, because I plan on living a looong and full one (knock on wood) but I will say that as of my 16 years 8 months and 27 days on this planet, it's the most exciting thing to happen :) In the beginning I expect nothing less than to be rocked to my very core with culture shock, to struggle harder than I've ever struggled before, and to contemplate quitting on a daily basis. However, once I get over that initial hump, I expect to gain an entire new family, become fluent in a second language, and build relationships that will start to help me map out my future :) 

Things are looking very bright indeed :)

AFS 2013-2014

Let's do this.